Newsletter #2

The moment you’ve all been waiting for….DRUM ROLL PLEASE.. BUM BUM BUM DING!

The official acceptance of the first member of OMAC!!
CONNOR TYRRELL

● Connor is the youngest member of OMAC, but his knees may be the oldest.
● He was born bald and he’s been rocking that hairstyle for years.
● 99% responsible for Jyles’ obsession with skiing
● Connor can probably name full rosters of a dozen sports teams pre 1995.
● Lethal with a deck of cards and anything with numbers.
● Working on his second wife and awaiting his third wedding… (that’s weird)
● In highschool he was voted least likely to wear shoes or pants, and he’s been living that dream every moment he isn’t legally obligated to be wearing them. (My son William once asked “Do you even own pants?”)

Whoop Whoop! We are now a super club 2 strong!
It’s an exclusive group gentlemen, better get on it while the heart is still ticking

Old man health news
By Jyles Yates
Uncle Chad (uncle of a potential future member) has acute leukemia. He’s doing all the chemo treatments and is getting lots of help from family and friends in NH. Let’s wish him all the best.

I first heard about Uncle Chad (also known as Bubba) through Chad’s nephew Justin. Justin said “Chad taught me to wind surf by throwing me in the water with the equipment and said ‘now learn’.”

I met Chad while working on Justin’s house. Chad might be one of the grumpiest people I’ve ever met. He moaned about women, children, and working on his nephew’s house. Chad also told me about his tiny home, his camper van, his home in OBX. Chad’s been living the carefree bachelor life for decades. Windsurfing, biking, snowboarding, cross country skiing, and helping out family with projects has been Chad’s life it seems.
The last time I saw Chad, in October 2022, was an accidental meeting in OBX. 16 hours from both of our homes. There were 40-50 mph winds in OBX and Chad was about to go windsurfing in the ocean with 6 foot waves. I watched him go sailing off away from the shore and he quickly disappeared. I imagined him just surfing off and not returning. Point Break meets cowboy into the sunset style. Chad seems a little like both of those styles. One part Clint Eastwood and one part Patrick Swayze.

Here’s to a healthy future for Chad.

Oh the times they are a changing.
A list of things not to do or say anymore, and you probably never should have.
By Jyles Yates

● Wear boots to bed. (special exceptions can be made for cosplay 😉
● Ask ”when did those pop?” as you point at your niece’s chest.
● Name a sports team after any Native American anything.
● Tell the ‘boy are my arms tired’ joke
● Drink beer while skiing
● Pass up a ‘yo mamma’ moment
● Start a story to younger people with: “you know, when I was your age…”
● Wear tube socks in plain white. (Colored stripes at the top are acceptable.)
● Ask your spouse “Are you planning on wearing that?”

Calling all nerds, Calling all nerds! Nerd Out is seeking guest writers.
Do you have a passion for something, anything? Movies featuring puppets? Fixing vacuums? Designing apps for board games? Tricking airlines? Playing guitar? Knowledge of 90s NBA? We’ll do this Field of Dreams style. If you write it, he will print it… (Maybe that’s tabloid style..) The Nerd Out section needs you! (Membership status increases chances of getting printed)

This weeks Nerd Out is: Skibikes
By Jyles Yates

The Sit-Ski was patented in 1949 by Austrian Engelbert Bretner. The Sit-Ski was built as a simple bike with skis for wheels. The rider wore short skis on their feet and sat while using their feet to help steer…. Not the prettiest way to get down a snowy slope and had to have been hard on the spine/butt. It was the beginning of something big… well not so big, but fun for sure. Ski bikes have never really taken off.

I, Jyles, became interested in ski bikes roughly 10 years ago. With the help of my father, Chris/Pop, we designed and built a few different models. Some designs are more successful than others. Here’s how you could build your own:

To build your own you start by ripping off the important moving bits of a regular bike. You want to be left with just the frame. Next you assemble an arm to hold on the skis. 2x4s, plywood, screws etc.. are the simplest ways to build an arm/ski mount to attach a front and back ski. Use some threaded rod to attach your arms/mounts to the bike frame at the fork. I suggest you design something to keep the ski from over rotating forward or back. Avoid letting the ski go upside down and your bike won’t be dragging on the wooden arm.

A good design for the arms/ski mounts is a longer front arm and a short sturdy back ski mount. When riding it is nice to have the front a little elevated, so the downhill ride doesn’t feel like you’re about to go over the handlebars all the time. (Going over the handlebars is sort of guaranteed to happen anyway).

The best front arm for us was a 2×4 following the angle of the bike front fork. The arm met the ground about 12 inches from the point the threaded rod attached to the bike fork. Reinforced with plywood and additional 2×4 run parallel to the ground. Skis were screwed straight through the bottom of the ski into the 2×4. A screen door spring was attached to the fork and the arm to prevent the ski from over rotating.

The back ski mount was a much smaller and chunkier piece of wood. A couple of 2x’s screwed together hanging 6 inches or so below the rear mounting point. Attach the rear ski in the same method. Mount a few foot pedals where the crankshaft use to be and… BOOM! A ski bike!

I suggest using snowblades, kids skis, or cutting full size skis down. Full skis are way too long. About 3 feet of ski length is all that is needed. Mount the front ski centered on the line the fork points to the ground. Mount the back ski so it is only a couple inches from the front ski. Overly long ski bikes are hard to steer.

Riding a ski bike is sort of like riding a mountain bike downhill in wet conditions. Lots of sliding around and super sketchy. The back end can be used for whipping around and sliding sideways, like drifting. The front ski needs to be used to balance out the drift by turning the opposite direction of the drift. With practice one can use the drift to control speed and safely make their way down the slope. No foot dragging goofiness needed Mr. Bretner. Stand up and ride like a man!

There are of course factory built ski bikes available and they have come a long way since the original Sit-Ski, but who needs to spend $1000s of dollars on a ski bike when you’ve got old bikes, skis, and 2x4s lying around? Speaking of which…

Check out the next issue for the Nerd Out on homemade off road roller skis, entitled: -I’ve got wheels on my feet and you’re wearing stupid shoes

Ol’ man health advice:
The health letter of the day is Q:
● Quit complaining, nobody wants to hear it.
● Q-tips, not just for ears. Belly button lint too!
● Qannon. Best avoided like the plague.
● Q, one of the coolest STTNG characters, also best avoided.
● Quail eggs, 1/4th the cholesterol of chicken eggs! (Serving size 1/4th of a chicken egg)
● Quarts, because beer in pints is for sissies, and gallons are insane. (Sorry, beer is actually totally gross)

OMAC is registered in the halls of Valhalla
OMAC, since 19 dickety 2